Hiatus

I might go on a short hiatus for awhile, or maybe a long blog-leave...

I think I need to fix myself first, get back to my senses (and even fix this blog too. lol). I'm not sure when, I still need to think things over... gaah...

But one thing's for sure, I'll be back. ^_^

Pixel Craze

I woke up really early today (5:00 am) because my time slot for the computer was moved to 6:00 am. Whew! It's really tiresome, to wake up at the crack of dawn in summer... but I'm willing to do it for my computer needs! XD

I was planning to fix the side contents of this layout for the IE users but once again, I felt very lazy to do so. I think I'm really getting addicted to these cute little graphics, that another pixel layout's forming on my mind.

I just can't wait until I have a domain of my own... that'll really fill my blogging-craziness.

I don't have much to blog at this time, since it's really early... but later today mom and I will probably go to the mall to buy some books. I'm really getting bored. And prolly, I would also be getting a coloring book. Even though it sounds very much elementary now, I find coloring books therapeutic. XD

And, I'm thinking of adding the tagboard again, though haters (or that certain idiot) would probably leave traces of their insecurity around. I really miss chatting with my blogmates through the board, but maybe it's better to set this site with no democracy. That'll, hopefully, keep those bashers off.

I'll cut this here now... so I could make use of my computer time for other stuff too. XD (I think I'm blogging too much. XD)

One Messy Layout

New pixel layout!

This is my very first pixel layout, and I'm really proud of how it turned out! I've been making the pixel graphics since summer started, and it really needed a lot of patience, though I enjoyed every bit of shading and pixelling.

The coding was really hard too, and it also won't work on Internet Explorer. The side boxes aren't aligned correctly, and the date color is too light. I've been trying to fix it but it still won't work. Oh well, I guess I just have to fix it again sometime this week or the next.

This layout so far, is my most favorite. ^_^

And this is made by my sister Deichan, to match with the layie:

It's really cute! Thankies Deichan! :D

To YOU KNOW WHO YOU F*CKIN ARE:

I'm not surprised that you didn't know that I could easily manipulate everything in this blog, your little head of an asshole cannot comprehend that can you? Even if you'd like to continue leaving traces of your low-life character around other's blog well, too bad. You're not smart enough to know that anyway.

Frankly speaking, I do not know who you are and I'm not planning to know anyway, since people with no sense and no significance aren't worth knowing. I do not want any f*ckin bitches trying to ruin my blog because this thing right here is mine. You're a little sad, aren't you? You're just so insecure of people... just by their words? You don't even know a fraction of who I am... what if you knew, by any chance? Wouldn't that make you feel so depressed? The fact that there are some people greater? And that no matter how many times you leave your f*ckin trace, you'll never get as close.

Yes, I'm pissed off. And maybe you're rejoicing that you made me feel annoyed. That's two cents for you. Something so shallow won't hurt me as deep, and calling me a bitch doesn't make you greater than me. You don't know who I am and you don't have the right to judge me.

If there's f*ckin insecure whore around, I'm not surprised that you don't know it's you.

After all, you cannot comprehend anything. And, I just want to remind you that I can track you. But... you didn't think of that. I know. Coz you're stupid.

Oh... poor thing! It must have been sad to be you... I'm glad I'm not even close. LOSER !!

I know that's your defense mechanism, calling other people a whore or a bitch just because you cannot accept that you're born that way... tsk. tsk.

Mamatay ka na, gago.

Thank you.

The first step toward getting somewhere
is to decide that you are not going
to stay where you are.

- J. Morgan

Self note:

I know it's worth a try, and I know that certain actions have their consequences. May it be positive or may it be negative, I've been telling myself to go forward with all that I can do...

... maybe it's worth the try after all.

If not, then I should just be thankful of what I have, and be happy that I tried.

Until then... Fighting! :D

*Finals driving me insane. Nerd-mode until Friday afternoon. XD*

I want to share a series of weird dreams nightmares (although it doesn't really make any sense) ...

I dreamt of firing red cannon ball, Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Rukia last night. It was really weird that I felt like I was Kuchiki Rukia, just the softer version or probably the weaker version because I was asking Renji to save me from the execution. Weird. o___O And Renji too, didn't look like the anime-Renji. He looked like someone else, probably someone I didn't know I met.



It was probably a nightmare, he's not even on my list of crushes. x_x

Ken Hirai appeared on my dream last night too, singing "Elegy". It must have been karma for me since I kept on laughing and making a joke out of his singing voice and how it changes on the last note, while watching a replay of Music Station. Maybe I was too rude? x__x

I don't know why these men came into my dream last night. It wasn't the most beautiful thing, and I wasn't even thinking of them before I went to sleep...

Finals are on Thursday. I haven't started yet, though I would probably spend the remaining days studying... and so I wouldn't dream of these weird stuff. Prolly, bebe (one of my profs) would appear on my dream tonight.

Horrible.

Talking in riddles...

I was browsing through my old friendster messages awhile ago and saw this message. It made me sigh for about three times and then I wondered, "If I have chosen something else... would everything still be like this today?" Maybe not. Perhaps I'll be happier. Maybe there aren't much memories to hold on to, thus there's not much pain to go through with.

But I do not want to regret...

I've hurt someone, and anonymous-kun probably do not want to talk to me anymore. I can't blame that person anyway, good things were laid down on me but I wanted something better. Sometimes it doesn't have to be better than the good things, it just have to be right for you. and I do not have any idea of what's right for me.

I wanted to save a friendship that ended too fast. I wanted to please everyone but I realized, it made matters worse. and when I tried to please myself, it made things more complicated. So, okay. It was all my fault. I was selfish and naive and undecided. Those days were fleeting, like a big whirlwind of anxiety trying to pull me away...


I know those memories will remain to be memories and the friendship had ended years ago... but I couldn't help feel nostalgic.

I miss those days.