Dear Diary...

What sounds so shallow actually hurts me deep...

No matter how long my posts are, I'm still not feeling the blogging momentum I once had. I'm really not sure why I can't blog the way I used to blog in BlogDrive or the way I used to rant in My LiveJournal. Even though my posts in blogdrive's too revealing in the emotional sense, I feel like I've blogged better there than in my new home. T_T And even if I try to sound cheerful through my posts, I don't feel cheerful enough. x_x

I promised myself that I'd blog differently from my Blogdrive account, because that blog had too much personal posts published... but now, I can't blog right. Something's preventing me... preventing me to post or do something with my new place because I have this feeling that something is being taken away from me whenever a fragment of my thoughts is being published.

Don't get me wrong, I love blogging. It's an extension of myself. I've been doing this for almost a year and a half now, and I really don't mind publishing my thoughts. I've been a drama queen in a way, since I used to blog everything. I must have blogged every drop of sadness that rained on me, all my happy thoughts even if they seem so shallow, all my unending (and sometimes unreasonable) rants. Even if I've been updating this everday, I really don't know why I'm feeling this way.

Kung kailan naman nagawa ko na yung gusto ko, to code my very own layout, ngayon pa nawala yung feeling na gustong-gusto ko mag blog. I'm not sure of the reason why, but I'm hoping that what I have in mind's not really the cause, because I don't really want to think this way towards someone close or something shallow. It doesn't feel right. Though I hope, this is not a one-sided issue. For once, I actually wanted to think and accept that I'm being too sensitive, and that I should let this pass.

I'm trying so hard to let this go by creating this entry... I hope I can find my blog-lover self again...