Pixel Craze

I woke up really early today (5:00 am) because my time slot for the computer was moved to 6:00 am. Whew! It's really tiresome, to wake up at the crack of dawn in summer... but I'm willing to do it for my computer needs! XD

I was planning to fix the side contents of this layout for the IE users but once again, I felt very lazy to do so. I think I'm really getting addicted to these cute little graphics, that another pixel layout's forming on my mind.

I just can't wait until I have a domain of my own... that'll really fill my blogging-craziness.

I don't have much to blog at this time, since it's really early... but later today mom and I will probably go to the mall to buy some books. I'm really getting bored. And prolly, I would also be getting a coloring book. Even though it sounds very much elementary now, I find coloring books therapeutic. XD

And, I'm thinking of adding the tagboard again, though haters (or that certain idiot) would probably leave traces of their insecurity around. I really miss chatting with my blogmates through the board, but maybe it's better to set this site with no democracy. That'll, hopefully, keep those bashers off.

I'll cut this here now... so I could make use of my computer time for other stuff too. XD (I think I'm blogging too much. XD)

One Messy Layout

New pixel layout!

This is my very first pixel layout, and I'm really proud of how it turned out! I've been making the pixel graphics since summer started, and it really needed a lot of patience, though I enjoyed every bit of shading and pixelling.

The coding was really hard too, and it also won't work on Internet Explorer. The side boxes aren't aligned correctly, and the date color is too light. I've been trying to fix it but it still won't work. Oh well, I guess I just have to fix it again sometime this week or the next.

This layout so far, is my most favorite. ^_^

And this is made by my sister Deichan, to match with the layie:

It's really cute! Thankies Deichan! :D

To YOU KNOW WHO YOU F*CKIN ARE:

I'm not surprised that you didn't know that I could easily manipulate everything in this blog, your little head of an asshole cannot comprehend that can you? Even if you'd like to continue leaving traces of your low-life character around other's blog well, too bad. You're not smart enough to know that anyway.

Frankly speaking, I do not know who you are and I'm not planning to know anyway, since people with no sense and no significance aren't worth knowing. I do not want any f*ckin bitches trying to ruin my blog because this thing right here is mine. You're a little sad, aren't you? You're just so insecure of people... just by their words? You don't even know a fraction of who I am... what if you knew, by any chance? Wouldn't that make you feel so depressed? The fact that there are some people greater? And that no matter how many times you leave your f*ckin trace, you'll never get as close.

Yes, I'm pissed off. And maybe you're rejoicing that you made me feel annoyed. That's two cents for you. Something so shallow won't hurt me as deep, and calling me a bitch doesn't make you greater than me. You don't know who I am and you don't have the right to judge me.

If there's f*ckin insecure whore around, I'm not surprised that you don't know it's you.

After all, you cannot comprehend anything. And, I just want to remind you that I can track you. But... you didn't think of that. I know. Coz you're stupid.

Oh... poor thing! It must have been sad to be you... I'm glad I'm not even close. LOSER !!

I know that's your defense mechanism, calling other people a whore or a bitch just because you cannot accept that you're born that way... tsk. tsk.

Mamatay ka na, gago.

Thank you.

The first step toward getting somewhere
is to decide that you are not going
to stay where you are.

- J. Morgan

Self note:

I know it's worth a try, and I know that certain actions have their consequences. May it be positive or may it be negative, I've been telling myself to go forward with all that I can do...

... maybe it's worth the try after all.

If not, then I should just be thankful of what I have, and be happy that I tried.

Until then... Fighting! :D

*Finals driving me insane. Nerd-mode until Friday afternoon. XD*

I want to share a series of weird dreams nightmares (although it doesn't really make any sense) ...

I dreamt of firing red cannon ball, Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Rukia last night. It was really weird that I felt like I was Kuchiki Rukia, just the softer version or probably the weaker version because I was asking Renji to save me from the execution. Weird. o___O And Renji too, didn't look like the anime-Renji. He looked like someone else, probably someone I didn't know I met.



It was probably a nightmare, he's not even on my list of crushes. x_x

Ken Hirai appeared on my dream last night too, singing "Elegy". It must have been karma for me since I kept on laughing and making a joke out of his singing voice and how it changes on the last note, while watching a replay of Music Station. Maybe I was too rude? x__x

I don't know why these men came into my dream last night. It wasn't the most beautiful thing, and I wasn't even thinking of them before I went to sleep...

Finals are on Thursday. I haven't started yet, though I would probably spend the remaining days studying... and so I wouldn't dream of these weird stuff. Prolly, bebe (one of my profs) would appear on my dream tonight.

Horrible.

Talking in riddles...

I was browsing through my old friendster messages awhile ago and saw this message. It made me sigh for about three times and then I wondered, "If I have chosen something else... would everything still be like this today?" Maybe not. Perhaps I'll be happier. Maybe there aren't much memories to hold on to, thus there's not much pain to go through with.

But I do not want to regret...

I've hurt someone, and anonymous-kun probably do not want to talk to me anymore. I can't blame that person anyway, good things were laid down on me but I wanted something better. Sometimes it doesn't have to be better than the good things, it just have to be right for you. and I do not have any idea of what's right for me.

I wanted to save a friendship that ended too fast. I wanted to please everyone but I realized, it made matters worse. and when I tried to please myself, it made things more complicated. So, okay. It was all my fault. I was selfish and naive and undecided. Those days were fleeting, like a big whirlwind of anxiety trying to pull me away...


I know those memories will remain to be memories and the friendship had ended years ago... but I couldn't help feel nostalgic.

I miss those days.

Loving someone from a far is like gazing at the moon.
You want to get near...
...but that's just impossible.
So you end up wanting to touch it's reflection on the water.
But you know you can't...
...because you'll die drowning in the process.


... Wala lang.

I realized that you really cannot have two great things at the same time. Like getting intoxicated with a perfect score in the defense then losing your favorite school shoes. It's just really ironic, and very saddening... that in one moment, everything seemed so perfect then with just a blink of an eye, you lose something really important to you. I don't understand its logic, and why it happens every time you feel good or even just wanted to feel good... :'c

And it happens... every time... I wanted to be happy.... every time... I feel like I'm happy... every time... I AM happy. Without a notice, everything would just go disappearing in thin air... it feels so unfair that you know you can't be happy without the consequences later on...

Bitterness

I do not want to do things related to school anymore... I'm tired and I feel forced. I feel frustrated because I do not have a choice at all. I know that responsibilities should be taken care of, but why does it feel like I'm the only one who should be concerned? I couldn't talk my way out, and I do not want to drop the work just to laze around. If that would make me a lesser person...

It sounds selfish but all I ever want to worry about now are my grades and mine alone... I've done so much and earned so little that I wanted to scream and throw tantrums! I do not know what would keep my Biology grades from sliding down, and what to do to please our horrible Filipino prof... I do not know what to do anymore and people would still have the guts to pour out work on me. I also cannot understand why I'm doing all these work... that wasn't even my idea on the first place. I don't understand why some people even have the right to slack when blogging's my only consolation...

It must have been my fault if I set myself as someone so vulnerable and perhaps, too reliable. I'm neither. I can do stuff, but people should know their limits and understand the situation...

Augh... and what pisses me more is that all I could ever do is blog these things that are raging inside of me. And at the end of the day, it's still me who even have to do the work.

Ramblings

New Layout! XD

I started coding this new layout 5 hours ago... and it's not even complete yet. x_x I wanted to add more stuff on the side bar but I'm feeling really tired now, I haven't even started with my homework. T_T and I probably would have to cram because I prioritized this instead of schoolwork. XD

I really like this one, since it's a semi-pixel layout featuring my favorite character, MonokuRo Boo. :D

I'd cut this short for now, since I do not know what to blog, yet... and I still have to do some presentation and stuff. T_T

*I just discovered: When I opened this in IE, there was a pop-up. x_x I'm not sure of the cause, maybe since I used an unknown and rather... strange script for the navbar, or for the right-click thingy... oh well.*

Love ko to!

I sing of little dreams
Riding melodies
Ever since I could speak
Seeing smiles light up as my notes
Free spirits, caress emotions...

-Love ko to'

Today's really fun! :D

We had our second to the last modular exam for Psych and the last module's will be about Abnormal Psychology which I'm really looking forward to. Ms. Clai mentioned something about approach-approach kind of conflict and I can't help but feel... uneasy. Lol! Well, maybe because I didn't know that even acads have something to do with that... x__x

Well, I shouldn't be talking in riddles. x_x Anyway, after our Psych class, we went straight to the mall to use the McDo coupons Caramel gave us. Then after lunch, we had this Videoke session. LOL !! Haha. :D It was really fun, we had our private room to sing our heads off! XD

We sang couple of songs, I mostly had a duet with Caramel, singing our specialty: pang-tambay-songs as Heaven would say, and this really radical version of Helena (MCR). Singing The Yes Yes Show also brought back a couple of memories from high school. It felt good. :D But what I really loved was when Caramel and I sang "Love ko 'to" (Jasmine Trias) and got a 99! I don't know if the machine's just lying, (but I have this feeling that it was) but I'm really happy... it's one of my favorite songs. Teehee. :D I cannot sing, that's a fact... I believe. Haha! Although Pau said I can, since I once sang Only Hope and she said that I should join the choir... (she's my best friend, after all. o__O)

After the session, we went back for our 3:30pm class, which happens to be Logic. After our prof gave me an 82 for a midterm grade, I loathed it more than swimming. But for our seventh exam, anyone who perfects it will also have a perfect score for the finals... and... yeaaahhh !! Ahahaha! I do not have to worry about the Logic final exam, after all. :)

We also had the debate. I'm really glad that my group mates were my group mates... we even got a perfect score. :D Although defending NO to Same Sex Marriage is pretty hard, I'm glad we were able to pull through. :)

I can wait for the upcoming days. We're busy as hell, (but I still manage to laze around? blah. x_x) but I'm just too glad to worry about anything now. :)

Ephemeral Happiness

New layout for my semi-comeback! :D Actually, I got this layout from Blogskins. I really think it's pretty, that's why I decided to use this instead of coding my own. (Plus, no time to code. x__x)

Finals are approaching real fast and there's just too many things I still need to do. Presentations, debates, defense... *cries* I don't know what to think of first! *cries* School's been hectic ever since second sem started, and I do not have a choice but to go through it. Good thing PE's over and all I have to worry about now is when will my real skin color come back. Think, Minazuki Chika from Ai Yori Aoishi. x_x

I do not want to rant in this post. But things are starting to... get confusing. And the only thing I want to do now is laze around and think of happy thoughts. I miss those days that even if things are too much to handle, I'd still manage to get by... *sigh*

Oh well. I might come up with a new layout when vacation starts, only 9 days left for the chances I need to grab or what I have been wishing for since the first day will be gone forever... :(

Hurray!

Whee !!

After months and months and months of not knowing where to blog and not having the time to handle two blogs, I'm back! :D I'm thinking of making a new layout though. Maybe something pixel-ly minus the php. Lolz.

Swimming finals ended a few hours ago and now, my only problem is how to get my real skin color back... it's really depressing that I didn't get tan lines, instead I got burned. x___x

I'm quite tired of this RO layie, might as well start on something new. :D