The Things We Do for Starbucks

"The things I do for the Starbucks Planner." Caramel said, letting out a deep sigh. For asking me to go with her and drink frap on a school night, I jokingly played as her master and commanded her to do things. XD

Everything was a joke of course. XD She wanted a Starbucks Planner badly, the one you get for free after drinking lots and lots from Starbucks, so we "sneaked" to Gateway right after our IT -nosebleed- exam. It was really fun, well... except for the VAT that was included in the receipt.

We talked like we'll never go home, and I was glad that I was right about her. She's really a wonderful friend, and I didn't know that we were looking for the same thing, and all teh ka-churvahan. Wahahaha!

I love you Caramel! Let's go to Starbucks again and maybe by that time, I've accepted the fact that you like Cow and Chicken.

xoxo.

Stars will never fall.

I tried writing some love-struck phrases once again at the back of my ecology notebook, after hearing some sappy love songs from Leann Rimes.

It is always a habit, and it never failed. I was expecting a page full of ironic none sense but after hours and hours of thinking, I came to realize I was only tapping louder and louder at the blank page.

I guess I can never express how I feel ever again. Or maybe it is too much that words aren't enough.

With a heavy sigh, I placed the cap on my g-tec once again and stared outside the window. Surely, the rain just stopped. I could still see water droplets from our window pane and the wet ground outside. Only a few were milling around, smiling happily at the sky.

I don't really understand why they were smiling. Sure, the rain's over, but you can barely see the sunlight and its pink afternoon rays because of the heavy clouds - promising a down pour once again. I turned my attention back to the blank page of my notebook, then back at the heavy clouds. But after a short while, I noticed that the few people who were once smiling at the sky were gone, and that the heavy clouds were slowly starting to cry.

The street was empty, and the rain started. There was no thunder, just the silent rain falling. I turned back and again on the blank page and noticed droplets of water making its mark on the clean sheet of paper.

Right then and there, I knew how the sky felt.

Coz it's cold inside... cold inside... x_x

"I was born to tell you I love you, but isn't that a song already?..."
-Vulnerable, Secondhand Serenade

Our long weekend have already started and the last day's tomorrow. x___x So far, everything I've done is just as useless as something you wouldn't even think of doing.

I spent the entire day yesterday downloading the cheesiest songs from Limewire while talking to Chezka on the phone. We had a great time answering questions from Candymag.com and listening to the songs of Boys II Men. I guess I was never really a fan, just because I think their songs are too much... too much to handle. Or even think of. I don't hate them, I even like Four Seasons of Loneliness, but I believe their songs are not the best for whatever I'm feeling now.

... maybe I'll switch to My Chemical Romance again. x_x


Well, aside from downloading songs, I also spent the day watching Ichigo 100%. It's a romantic-comedy/harem anime from long ago. And poor me, I only knew the story (and only about a quarter of it) just yesterday. Even so, it was really funny. The protagonist was of course, a guy, surrounded by a lot of girls who wants his attention. Lolz. Among the girls, I really like Toujo Aya the most since she's really pretty and intelligent. :D I actually envy her. Lolz.

I finished the 12 episodes of the anime and is planning to watch the 5 OVAs but I'm quite disappointed. The ending was soooo bitin I couldn't even explain how irritated I was. x___x I plan of downloading the manga since my brother said (and along with all the youtube people) that it's far better...

... well, the manga versions are really far better anyways. x_x

So today... I plan on starting with my homework. But for some odd reason, I feel lazy and just wanted to listen to the cheesy songs I downloaded yesterday.

I'm supposed to be tagging along with my brother inside World Trade Center for the Hero event. We planned for this ever since the commercial came out... and now, I'm here just thinking of the what might have beens if I'm actually inside the real thing, tagging along instead of updating this blog. x_x My brother and I had a fight yesterday, so I figured that that should be a good reason for me not to be in the event, but come to think of it, we patched up right after I gave him a piece of Ferrero Rocher and after asking if I have the Jigoku Shoujo opening theme. x____x

So I guess I cannot deny the very reason why I decided not to go... I told him I'm feeling lazy, just as what I've been telling everyone whenever I do not want to do something anymore because there's really something bugging me...

... but you know what? I guess this is for the better, for now. Although, I cannot keep on running away from what I wanted to do most, I guess I'll allow myself run this time, for the last time.

Vanity and Geeky-ness :D

We just had our first heaping dose of the first week of the second sem.
New subjects. New classrooms. New classmates. New teachers...

...And I think I'm gaining unwanted pounds everyday. And that is just so ironic since my schedule's really tight, it's even amazing that I have time to eat... this much! *cries* I've given up Hell Girl and Honey and Clover but I think this sem is worth everything. The subjects are all good, plus, there's no math. Not one single. Not one related. None. Nada. I'm pretty positive that I'll survive well.

But that is if I get an ultimately beautiful excuse not to have swimming for PE. And no, I'm not suffering from Hydrophobia, but the very thought of soaking my skin and my hair with chlorine under the heat of 1pm sun is pretty traumatic. Not that I've ever tried it, I already know I won't like it. Maybe human instincts or just my vain intuitions. XD

Other than PE, everything else's great. Psychology and Logic are really fun (weeell... I am a freshie, after all. XD), Filipino's not changed, (Still the same prof. Why should it be that way when all our other profs are new?!) but I think I'll live since our dearest prof have this habit of repeating the same lessons for months. English is all good too since I love writing, even if our prof is more of a lawyer than a teacher, or maybe a politician by the way (and the speed) she talks (she sounds like our dearest president, GMA). Biology's just my favorite even if our teacher said no one had ever perfected his exams for the past seven sems. (and if one us perfects it, he'll give us chocolates in return) Even Catech's fun! (even if our former class beadle's our classmate again... x_x)

What else... XD I think I've said enough of my experiences for the first week.

Now my only problem is how to get a flat one for my GWA. (or 1.01, 1.02, 1.03,1.04, 1.05, 1.06... 1.21, 1.25... you get the idea. XD)

Is that even possible? XD

I think I'm getting addicted to grades. That is just sooo.... geeky. Geeky good. XD

Honey and Clover

At the beginning of summer, I planted some Perilla and basil. With the summer light they grew fast. But... with the typhoon, the tallest Perilla broke. After seeing the bent Perilla, my mother said...

"That's not going to get better, so break it off there..."

"...that way a new shoot will grow and so that new leaves will grow beautifully."

But I was hesitant about it. Since the small leaves on the twig were still healthy. Not changing at all from when it broke.

*At the fireworks parade...*

"Yamada, the Yukata looks good on you." Mayama said.

The Yukata looks good on you.

Just to hear those words... I did my hair, choose my kimono, and made a fuss while getting dressed. I even wore Geta that I'm not used to.

Getting excited... just listening to nothing other than your words. I put my hopes in it that maybe I could turn your heart just a little.

Why do I always end up dreaming?

Over and over again, without getting tired of it.

As if that's all I know.

After a few days, when I went out to my balcony, the bent twig had collapsed under its own weight and laid on the dirt.

Just like Mom had said.

The only thing to do with this was to break it off where it had bent. That's where I should have put an end to it and let a new sprout grow.

That was the only choice.

But still, I couldn't decide because I couldn't break this feeling.

I couldn't.

-Yamada, Ayumi
Episode 13, Honey and Clover.

I've always loved the lines from this anime. Even though they were not the exact words, since they were translated, they still make a big impact on how I feel... Even if I watch the episode over and over again, the same lines would always make me feel the very same feeling Ayumi felt. It never failed. And I guess... like Ayumi, I couldn't decide because I couldn't break this feeling. I know it sounds cheesy but it actually feels good to know that there are stories that can explain how one really feels. And it makes things a lot easier because finding the exact words will always be difficult...

I wish Deichan would scold me again...

While rummaging through my old books last night, I came across my old and nearly tattered diary which I used to carry around when I was in high school. It was a pink hard-bound one, with the image of Barbie in different poses on the front and back cover. And on its first page was written, "To know the pain of too much tenderness." It was taken from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.

I was hesitant to read the contents because for some odd reason, I find it embarrassing to read my own experiences. So what I did was scan through the entries until I found myself laughing hard. Some of the entries were really shallow, and really funny. I couldn't believe I've done such things but I wouldn't want to regret doing them anyway. So I continued reading and reading until I came to a page where I wrote the entry in red ink.

02 26 06

... Deyza asked me to count the persons who told me the same thing. She's one, then there was Chezka. Then there were three people more.

"Kailangan pa bang maka-anim para ma-realize mo?!" Dei told me. "Kaya mo naman, labag lang sa kalooban mo..."

I stared at those phrases, reading and reading them all over again. It has been a long time, hasn't it? And everything went by without me realizing that a lot of time had already passed, and that a lot of things have happened already.

And here I am, still stuck at those days similar to the entries of my diary. They were distant, and most of all they were over.

But just like the words written in a piercing red ink that couldn't be erased, I also cannot forget how it felt back then...